I get a lot of emails in my inbox with questions from women around all things menstrual cycle. And PMS is a topic that frequently pops up, both in my inbox and private sessions. One of those emails was from ‘T’, a woman I met when I lived in Thailand years ago.
She wrote: I feel betrayed by my cycle
In her email she shared with me the struggles she was experiencing in her cycle, despite having worked deeply with her cycle for over 5 years. She was feeling at her wits end with PMS and irregular periods, and wrote: “I’m scared of my feminine rhythms, dreading the time after ovulation.”
I wanted to share with you what I shared with her, because now 3 months later she is experiencing positive results with just a few tweaks in her approach to her cycle.
Before I jump into my recommendations for working with PMS, I want to share a personal story with you.
When I first started working with my cycle years ago I was used to staying very active during my moontime, and one of the first changes I made was to begin to rest. Resting during my moontime became a place of accessing the deeper healing, and wisdom of my cycle.
After a while of working with my cycle, I began to experience extreme pain during my period. I felt shocked at first that this level of pain could come when I was listening, and honoring my cycles more than ever, in all ways possible.
What I learned as I dove into the pain, was that this was unresolved grief and trauma that I hadn’t been able to otherwise release. The extreme pain that looked like an imbalance, was my healing. And in fact some of my most potent women’s wisdom and work was born in that in-between-worlds-state that the extreme pain pushed me into.
Point of my story: Sometimes what looks like a step back, is a step deeper. As we go along our journey with our feminine rhythms, we unravel deeper layers of healing – and it can get messy.
At the same time, don’t forget that even though discomfort is sometimes part of the healing journey. Over all, every phase of our menstrual cycle is meant to feel good, and be symptom free, when we are nourished and nurtured according to the needs of our cyclic bodies and Inner Woman™. Pain may come up but should evolve and change with the right therapies.
If you are dealing with PMS, emotional meltdowns, and irregular cycles, start with these 3 steps:
To understand and resolve any type of imbalance in our menstrual cycle, we have to both look at nourishing the physical body and the deeper layers of your emotional body.
1. Take your temperature
Start with gathering information from your body by taking your basal body temperature and charting your cycle. This is always one of the first things I get my clients to do when they come for Womb Massage. Your basal body temperature is one of the best ways to get an overview of what is happening in your cycle.
All you need is an accurate basal body thermometer on your bedside table – ear thermometers are not accurate enough for this. It’s as easy as taking your temperature every morning in the same part of your body (mouth or vaginally), around the same time, and as soon as you are awake, before you are out of bed.
Resources for charting your cycle and fertility awareness:
- Check out the book: Taking Charge Of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.
- Book a Cycle Consultation with me to learn how to chart, how to resolve your symptoms, and get all your personal questions answered in one place.
2. Nourish your cyclic, womanly body
Beyond temperatures, you need to nourish your body for your hormones to flow in just the right amounts, and therefore minimize PMS symptoms. Check out my other article on PMS, painful breasts & moodswings to learn what specifically is necessary for hormonal vitality.
Some things that your wild feminine body needs for healthy hormones are:
- Living in rhythm with nature. Minimize use of artificial lighting and electronics at night.
- Get to bed early. Nourishing the circadian rhythm of our bodies is of essence for hormone balance.
- Get your bare feet on the ground, go swimming in the ocean whenever possible.
- Don’t forget regular meals made of whole-food ingredients, with as many organic fruits and vegetables as possible. Your blood sugar directly affects your hormones.
- Create pleasure and orgasmic energy on a daily basis. Breast Massage is great for this. Check out my Breast Massage meditation here.
3. Transform PMS into emotional wisdom
Each of the four phases in your menstrual cycle has its own personality, needs, and wisdom. In the premenstrual phase ‘the veil’ is lifted and your feeling-landscape expands, and old stories arise in a way they can’t at other times in your cycle. On an emotional and spiritual level this phase initiates us into becoming emotionally wise, and able to face the full spectrum of our Inner Woman.
Your premenstrual phase is about mothering yourself and continuing to practice the art of being with your emotional landscape. There’s something for you to integrate and mother in whatever is coming up in the chaos.
All women have to learn to become comfortable with all flavors of their Inner Woman™, if they want to learn to express themselves as the woman they came here to be.
It is of essence to have a deep connection to your feminine center, so you can dive into your emotions, sitting right in the fire, while at home in your center.
Journaling and free-flow-writing may help you get to know your PMS on a deeper level. Notice your thoughts, sensations, feelings, and emotions. And listen to any unhealed stories that your PMS is giving you insight into. What is begging to be heard underneath it?
A great way to start is to first drop into your body, use my 10 minute Inner Woman Yoga practice to drop in, and then get your journal out and start writing down what is coming up for you through your PMS.
Remember you don’t need to know what to write, or what to do. Simply offer yourself the space to explore your PMS and yourself on a deeper level. You might be surprised by what your body reveals to you when you are actually listening.
If you need personal support, I’m here for you!
Whatever is coming up through your menstrual cycle is a bridge for more vitality, pleasure, and a sense of coming home to yourself. That is why I often say my menstrual cycle is my muse, because there is so much available to us when we we work with our cyclic wisdom. But we need to learn how to do it, it is a learned skill that requires patience and devotion.
That’s what I teach women how to do everyday. In a one-to-one Cycle Consultations you get the personalized support necessary to understand what lies underneath your symptoms, and get all your questions answered in one place.
I promise you that there are some juicy ingredients for expansion inside your PMS! Book your Cycle Consultation here.
3 months later ‘T’ wrote me again and shared what happened after she used these tips for working with her PMS:
“I feel good. And it feels comforting to say that on the day before starting to bleed. Your answer from June nailed my situation pretty much back then. Even if I couldn’t see it at that time three months ago.
Looking at it now, I can see how I adjusted some behavioral patterns. I started to nourish myself better, found a more suitable sleeping rhythm, worked less, relaxed more and continued bravely stepping into my darkness.”
Have you struggled with PMS? If you’re nodding yes, then I hope this will help you too.
Hey beautiful woman!
I wanted to say thank you already for a while for chosing my story to help others walk through the bright and dark patches of our cyclic journey.
I’m honored to have you in my mailbox and my life 🙂
My pleasure Tamara! I’m so glad you reached out and shared, because many women have written me about this article helping them since. Big hugs to you xx
Hi Indigomoon, I am interested to know where you learned the abdominal massage? I am also interested about the inner woman yoga, as I am a yoga teacher myself, … but as you said during the transmission I will kind of go into the feeling.
Lots of love beautifull sister ❤️
Hi Brigitte, I’ve studied lots of bodywork, especially while I lived in Thailand, where I also studied chi nei tsang abdominal massage which I didn’t always find suitable for women. I made it my focus early on to learn how to tailor bodywork for women’s cyclic bodies, and since I didn’t have any teachers with this focus I slowly adapted and learned as I dived deep into my practice. I’ve since trained with Arvigo Therapy, now I also include many of their techniques in my Womb Massage. In a bigger way my bodywork is build on my own body of work around the feminine body, and not from any training I’ve done. There will be more Inner Woman™ Yoga coming to my website, so I hope you’ve signed up for my newsletter. I look forward to connect and share more with you. xo Indigomoon